


Right Now (One Day)

by danpuff



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Doomed Relationship, First Love, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Love, M/M, Sad, present and future, second love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27472855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danpuff/pseuds/danpuff
Summary: Severus and Regulus have each other for now.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Regulus Black/Severus Snape
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	Right Now (One Day)

One day Regulus Black will be dead. Regulus will die in an effort to weaken the Dark Lord. He will be young and scared and brave. His efforts will go unnoticed and uncommended for many years.

One day Severus Snape will be bitter and angry and heartbroken. He will walk away from the Dark Lord’s downfall alive, his best friend and lover both dead in the ground. He will want to join them, but he will not. There will still be work for him to do. The cause will remain alive, because the Dark Lord will not be dead, and the cause will be all that is left for Severus. So he will accept a job he hates, his talents wasted, all of his ambitions ashes at his feet. The Mark on his arm will mar his skin and his life for decades. It will be a reminder of how easy it is to ruin one’s own life.

One day Severus will fall in love again, with a boy he hates. He will fall in love with green eyes and messy hair, and a young man’s brave heart and pure soul. He will find a passion that burns as bright and hot as his own. He will love again and he will be happy, one day. 

For now Severus is in love and happy with someone else. In love with a doomed wizard a year his junior. As all teenagers, he thinks that this first love is the truest, that he will never again feel what he feels now for Regulus. Funny how he once thought himself above such romantic trifles. 

(One day he will think romance is dead forever. And one day he will fall prey to its madness once more, caught in the clutches of a young man’s bright smile.) 

They do not meet at their homes. Tobias Snape does not care much for magic, and Walburga Black will never approve of a half-blood for her beloved son. Neither of their parents will give their blessing to love another boy. Muggle and Wizards are alike in that way, so disapproving of things they do not understand, too narrow minded to care about such a useless thing as love. 

Instead they meet at dingy inns and pay for two beds when they only need one. They eat takeaway and drink wine and they sit by the window to look out at the stars. They talk of the Dark Lord and his plans. They talk of their ambitions. Regulus talks of a future where Severus will be so trusted and so renowned that his blood will not matter. Not to the Dark Lord, not to the Blacks, not to anyone who matters. He does not say they will marry. Regulus is not so naive as that, though he may like to dream. And Severus bites his tongue, at least most nights, to hold back his own predictions: that his blood will always be a stain to pureblood families, his maleness too improper for the wizards he desires. He does not say that Regulus will do his duty and marry a pureblooded witch and give her children named for stars, and that Severus will always be his dirty little secret. Severus does not tell Regulus that he will hate him for doing what he must, does not say that the idea of another touching him, even a woman, makes him sick. He certainly does not tell him the worst of it: that it will not matter, not really, that Severus will stay to meet him in dark rooms and long for him in the daylight. 

(One day, Severus will not have to hide. Harry will not listen to reason. Harry will out himself to the world, because he is too brave and true to do anything else. And Severus will take his hand, will join him in the sun, will follow him anywhere and everywhere. Severus will tolerate the hate and suspicion. He will bear the blame for their savior forsaking witches. In the darkest of those days it will feel like freedom. In the brightest, it will be paradise.)

In the darkness, on a lumpy mattress, beneath stale sheets, Regulus smiles at him, amused and happy and soft. “I’m yours,” he promises. “Of course I’m yours.” 

“Mine.” Severus’s lips form the words, but his voice dares not contribute. Severus settles over him to kiss him deeply. They make love in the urgent, awkward passion of youth. After, they lay spent and sweaty in each other’s arms. They kiss whatever skin they can reach. Regulus whispers, “I love you, I love you, I love you,” and Severus swallows and tells himself he will say the words back one day. (He will never have the chance.) 

Regulus is content and happy with Severus. For now he thinks he will live forever. He will conquer the world. Love will overcome all obstacles. Regulus trusts in his name and his power, trusts more so in Severus’s skill and strength. He thinks he will never know happiness like this anywhere else, and he is right. He will not live long enough to face the ugly truth. He will not live long enough to bow to his parents’ whim. He will not live long enough to watch the man he loves fall in love with another. This is the happiest he will ever be, warm and snug in Severus’s bony arms. 

There will never be another, Regulus thinks. His gray eyes are soft and warm as he gazes up at his lover. He smiles sleepily. No one in the world is like Severus. What they share is precious. They belong together, and will stay together forever. None of Severus's pessimism ever convinces him otherwise. 

There will never be another, Severus thinks grimly. He watches long after Regulus’s eyes close, as his breathing evens out. There are so few people in this world who have seen him and cared for him. Only his mother, who could not protect him, and Lily, who could not forgive him, and Regulus, who will never choose him. Severus has been lucky enough. And that luck will run out. All good things end. He thinks he will never stop loving Regulus. That he will stay by his side, come what may. But its goodness will die, its joy crumble to dust, love will turn sour and desperate and lonely. 

Severus has never had much use for hope. Its taste is too sweet for life so bitter. Hope is alive within Regulus and despite himself, Severus is drawn to it. He borrows it and huddles close to its warmth and allows its comfort to lull him to sleep.


End file.
